Do Singles Prepare too Much for “Someday”?

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I have noticed a trend in homeschool Christian circles, which is single women who are focused on preparing for marriage. I believe this is a wonderful thing, I am extremely thankful that my mom taught me when I was young how to cook, clean house, teach myself skills, healthy living, healthy relationships, et cetera (which I think everyone, yes, even guys, should know how to do). However, I believe there is a point when our focus should no longer be preparing for marriage, but on using our single years in ways we would be unable to do if we were married.

“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:32-35, ESV)

These verses explain that as a single we can be more focused on the Lord and how to become more holy, whereas if we were married we wouldn’t be able to as much because we would be busy serving our families. Another good example is Martha and Mary. Martha was trying to serve the Lord, but to the extent to where she was distracted and missing out on sitting at Christ’s feet and learning from Him. Having families to serve is a wonderful gift, but I think we need to be careful not to squander the opportunities the Lord has given us to grow while single because we are too focused on preparing for a future we want, instead of living in today.

I would love to get married someday; however the Lord has brought me to a place of contentment. I am okay with remaining single, if that is His will. If it’s not His will for me to marry then I don’t want to spend the next ten, fifteen, or more years focusing on learning every aspect of homemaking I could possibly ever use and reading all the Christian books on the subject of relationships, when I could better use the time focusing on Him first and serving others second. This way whether I ever get married or not I will know that I used my single years to better know Him, honor Him, and bless others.

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2 Responses to Do Singles Prepare too Much for “Someday”?

  1. Diana says:

    Cousin,

    I had a wonderful life being single, serving the Lord, creating, going to school to get 2 masters degrees, travel, art, all the things that I wanted in my life. I did not marry until last year to a good godly man. I wasn’t waiting for him, life happened while I was enjoying it. I wish I would have known that in my twenties when I stressed too much about WHERE is he? I am glad you are much wiser than me at your age. <3

    • Rachel says:

      It’s wonderful that you were able to do so much in that time! Thank you! I think the Lord has used the examples of those around me and my Lyme to help teach me this.

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